Hindsight is 20/20: The Advice I Would Give to My Younger Self


If I were to write a letter to my younger self, the me before marriage and children, I’m sure that younger me would be very surprised at how her life would turn out.

Picture a young 18-year-old, entering college, thinking she has all her plans figured out. That was me. I was going to go to Baylor, make music, be a socialite, and live “the best years of my life” to the fullest that I could. I had zero plans of being married at my graduation and definitely didn’t plan on getting pregnant before getting my first real job. Clearly, God had a much better plan for those years than I did. Here’s what I would’ve told younger me about preparing for the real “best years of my life”.

1. Learn to embrace the feeling of uncertainty. It’s okay to let go of control. If I could say only one thing, it would be that you are less in control than you think you are and that’s something to be thankful for. Your plans for yourself are not nearly as magnificent as God’s plans for you and He really likes to keep you waiting before revealing the next step. Trust that even though your life looks nothing like to pictured, it’s beautiful and so fulfilling.

2. Learn to use your money wisely. I know you think you’re good with money because you always pay your rent on time, but that’s just the beginning. You don’t realize that  you’re money goes so much father than buying you textbooks and keeping gas in your car. You don’t need to go out to eat 5 times a week and you definitely don’t need to spend every weekend buying clothes for themed parties. Stop using your credit cards and start using your savings account. You’ll thank me when you’ve graduated and you have to start paying back those student loans.

3. Don’t be so quick to judge. There’s nothing wrong with getting married young. It doesn’t make you “needy” or “weak” or “dependent”. Sometimes, you just get lucky enough to meet your spouse at 19. I know that you never wanted to be associated with the phrases “M.R.S. degree” and “ring by spring,” but getting married young really is the best thing that could ever happen to you. Sometimes, the plans we make for ourselves don’t reflect our truest potential.

4. When your mom says, “One day you’ll understand,” she’s usually right. Maybe not all the time in every situation, but there really are things that you won’t understand until you have your own kids. That mom at the grocery store with a slouchy tank top and unwashed hair? She has two sick kids and a teething baby and hasn’t had a minute to herself all day. That “uptight” mom who puts her toddler on a backpack leash? She’s not trying to be a controlling parent. Her kid is just excited and likes to run off. You’re a totally different person once you’re a parent and until you have your own kids, you can’t possibly understand.


So what about you? If you could give your pre-baby self some real life advice, what would you say?