The Birth of My First Child


My first child, oh how to put it, came at his own pace.

I would go into those Dr appointments so hopeful that things were progressing and I wasn’t at all. I would hear about how people were dilated weeks before, or thinning or ANYTHING, and I had nothing. He was due May 31 and it was June 5 with no baby. I was done with school for the year, I’m a teacher, and there was nothing for me to do except stare at the ceiling waiting on my baby to get here. I meet my husband at Sam’s after work to get paper goods, because I didn’t want to have to wash dishes. As we were walking around I remember I started to feel pains regularly. I started to wonder if these were contractions, but had no clue so on with the shopping. I can honestly remember crying over getting bowls. I like to eat cereal and didn’t want to have to wash bowls. So, in the basket went the 500 bowls. We got home and contractions became more pain that I ever imagined, and they just kept coming. My contractions were every 6-10 min for hours. They finally got to every 5 min for almost an hour and I told Jake we were going to the hospital. Nothing can prepare you for what labor feels like and I wasn’t a fan.  

I went to open the car door and it was locked. The light came on inside because Jake had opened the driver door. It was then I saw a snake wrapped around the seat belt holder attached to my seat. It was striking at the window. Picture it June 6, 2006, 666. I had had so many friends calling me talking about 666 it was unreal. It’s 6-6-06, I’m trying to get to the hospital and there is a SNAKE in my car. I screamed of course, because I HATE SNAKES, and then proceed to go inside and call my mother crying. Jake went and found a golf club, flash light, and a baseball bat to get the snake out of the car and then kill it.  

We finally got to the hospital only to find out I’m barely dilated to a 1. I cried because I only then realized how long this was going to be. They sent me home with an Ambien, and said to wait it out at home a while longer. I got to sleep a little, and Jake was part freaking out because I apparently haven’t ever talked so much in my sleep before, thank you Ambien.  

Finally contractions got regular and it was time to get to the hospital, this is now 8 am June 7. Jake double checked for snakes and we left. I had progressed enough to be able to stay and get the most amazing thing, EPIDURAL!! Seriously, I was finally able to relax a little and get some rest. I was progressing slowly,but it went smooth enough until it was time to begin pushing. The Dr. then realized he was face up instead of face down. They turned him and this was the moment I realized the epidural was wearing thin. I had to push for almost an hour, with almost no epidural. On June 8 Reuben was born at 9 lbs 3 oz.  

He was perfect, giant cone head and all. Recovery for me was fine, until it came time to pee on my own and it just wasn’t happening. On my 3rd day in the hospital and still not able to pee on my own, I BEGGED the Dr to tell me what I could do to be able to go home. The answer was to learn how to give myself a catheter. I was game. I was not only newborn mamma tired, but I also had my night nurse checks, nurses giving me a catheter, and then Reuben’s nurse coming in all hours of the night. I was over it and ready to get my little guy home. My wonderful nurses taught me and I finally got to go home!! They packed me giant trash bag full of catheters and diapers and we went home.  

Once home and relaxed I was able to pee on my own. I was so thankful I didn’t have to actually give my self a catheter. I was finally able to just worry about my new guy and hang with him without extra worry about myself. Thankfully Reuben was an easy baby, and super chill.