How Growing up Fatherless has Helped Me Appreciate my Husband

I think I’ve known my whole life that mothers would do anything for their babies. Mothers sacrifice. Mothers nurture. They work hard and selflessly. They’re present and intentional and they love like no one else can. Growing up fatherless, I guess I never learned how deep and strong and real the love of a father can be. Now, being married to a wonderful man and raising two boys, I’ve started to realize just how important and irreplaceable a good father is in the lives of children.

Without a doubt, my mom did an amazing job raising my brother and I. She sent us to great schools. I had piano lessons and she helped coach my cheer squad. She was there when I performed in various musicals in high school and she gave me everything I needed to be successful in choir. She was the best mom she knew how to be, but with everything she was, she wasn’t a dad. And that’s okay. She’s not supposed to be. I honestly didn’t feel like growing up without a dad was a big deal most of the time. It was never something I actively thought about, except maybe when planning my wedding. Maybe I would’ve noticed it more if I was a boy. Either way, my husband has unintentionally shown me how special a father-child bond can be. And I’m so glad that in my adulthood, I get to finally witness this new kind of love.

It’s hard to put into words, the feeling I get when I see my two-year-old and my husband having a moment. Pride? Maybe. Gratitude? Most definitely. I’m thankful that my babies get to build a healthy relationship with a man of good character, who is gentle, yet strong and well-spoken. I’m even more thankful that he’s their dad. Only he could teach them how to properly mow the lawn or how to fix the wifi when the power goes out after a storm. He is the one who can have the coming of age conversations from a perspective that my boys will be able to relate to. More importantly, he can show them what it means to lead and serve a family and how to be a man worthy of honor and respect. No matter what I do, I could never teach them that.

As their Momma, I can wipe their noses and kiss their scraped-up elbows. I can console them when they’re sad and snuggle them when their sleepy. My husband has shown me that Daddies play and teach and love in ways that Mommies are completely incapable of. He fills all the gaps that I can’t fill and it’s such a gift to be able to witness. Not only can I not do this whole parenting thing on my own, but I don’t have to, because my boys have their Daddy, and he’s a much better Daddy than I could’ve asked for for them.