::My First Ectopic Pregnancy::
After the birth of my son in 2006, my husband and I decided I should get the tubal ligation (tubes tied). My son was my second child and we now had our boy and girl so we felt content. We felt we made the right decision for our family.
Six years down the road I start to regret our decision. With my son and daughter in school now, I started to long for another baby. I knew the only choice would be tubal reversal, and frankly that was just not in our budget as it is very expensive. So I tried to push the thought of another baby out of my head and focus on the blessings I had right in front of me.
In January of 2012 I missed my period, which was really no surprise. I was never very regular. February came along and I still did not start my period. My husband thought I was crazy and mentally making myself think I was pregnant because I wanted a baby so bad. But I knew my body and I knew something was different. So I took a pregnancy test, well four to be exact. Every single one said PREGNANT! I was beyond excited, I thought to myself “God is giving me a miracle baby”.
I made my first appointment with my Doctor to get the official pregnancy test and it also came back POSITIVE! I could not control my excitement. I called all my family to tell the good news, and sat the kids down to tell them they would be having a new baby brother or sister. They were surprisingly happy about having a new baby in the family.
Our excitement ended a day later as I started to cramp and spot. I immediately rushed to the emergency room to make sure my baby was okay. I was not prepared for the dreaded news they had to give.
I still remember the horrid pain I felt as they pushed harder and harder with the ultrasound wand trying to find the fetus. They finally realized they were not finding the baby and they decided to fill my bladder with fluid and probe vaginally to find the baby. The pain was agonizing as I tried to stay still for the technician to search for a fetus, but still nothing was there. The doctor then explained to me that I had an Ectopic Pregnancy and that I would need to see an OBGYN in the morning.
I could not sleep that night between the pain in my abdomen and the unknowing of what exactly an Ectopic Pregnancy was. I was still trying to be hopeful that I would continue my pregnancy. I fought the tears as I walked into the Doctor’s office that next morning. The bleeding was more heavy now and I knew that was not a good sign. When the nurse called me back I was choking on tears with every word I spoke.
Once again I was put on the ultrasound table and after a few minutes of probing, there was the fetus in my fallopian tube. My heart dropped as the nurse said to the Doctor “no heartbeat”. Tears flooded from my eyes as the Doctor explained the next step was to dissolve the fetus from my fallopian tube. She explained that if the tube ruptured it could lead to internal bleeding and possible death. I felt like my world was spinning and her words seemed to be in slow motion. I just could not take in that she wanted to dissolve my baby. She calmly explained to me that there was no heartbeat and I could not risk my tube rupturing. She gave me a few minutes alone with my husband then proceeded to inject me with methotrexate. As I waited for the hour of observation to be over with, I made the unwanted calls to family that there would be no baby.
The pain in my abdomen was excruciating. After a week of tossing and turning in bed trying to find relief of the pain, the pain in my abdomen suddenly subsided and I knew that the fetus was gone. Then the healing for the soul began, the mourning of my unborn baby.
::My Second Ectopic Pregnancy::
Now this should be the end of my ectopic nightmare, but unfortunately it was not the end. Three years later I find myself in the same predicament. Missed periods, positive pregnancy tests, and pregnancy symptoms. This time I was not excited but instead filled with worry that I was having another Ectopic pregnancy.
I went in to see my doctor and I got the official positive pregnancy test. My doctor then orders an ultrasound right away, because of my history of Ectopic Pregnancy she did not want to take any chances. I dreaded even looking at the ultrasound screen. Once again after thirty minutes of probing, they do not find any signs of the fetus. After the ultrasound the doctor came back in and explained to me that there was no sign of the baby in the fallopian tubes, so there was a possibility it was just too early to see the fetus. I found HOPE!
The next step was to have my pregnancy hormones checked (HCG). My HCG level was not as high as it was supposed to be but it was rising, so she had me come back every 48 hours to have the levels checked. Every time my HCG levels would be higher. Unfortunately in a normal pregnancy your HCG doubles every 48-72 hours and mine were not doubling. My doctor still assured me that this could be a normal pregnancy, so I remained hopeful.
A week later I began bleeding and the pain had increased. I knew the inevitable was happening again. I contacted my doctor and once again I found myself at the hospital having another methotrexate injection.
The pain was so excruciating, and my husband had to eventually call my doctor to explain the pain I was in. The pain was so much worse than the first Ectopic pregnancy. She insisted I immediately get to the hospital.
After waiting what seemed like an eternity, the doctor at the ER finally informed me that my right tube had ruptured and I was going back for emergency surgery to remove the tube. Everything after that was a blur. The next thing I remember was waking up to the faces of my happy family, thankful I was alive.
The recovery was similar to having a C-section, the only difference is I did not get to bring home a baby.
At the end of the day, I am thankful to have my kids. They really helped me get through the pain of two ectopic pregnancies. I am beyond thankful that I am still alive and able to raise my beautiful children. Every once in awhile I think about how old the baby would have been if not for the Ectopic Pregnancy, and sadness fills my heart.
I still regret my decision to have the tubal ligation and if I could go back in time I WOULD NOT do it again.
Just remember if you are thinking of getting a tubal ligation, think long and hard about the consequences.
