Collective Mom-Confession: We all have less than proud moments with our partners or children that we regret. Thank goodness for grace! But where does it stem from? Most of us carry harmful patterns (from childhood) that creep up spilling into our relationships. Healing as an adult means taking ownership of your negative thought-patterns, and making a conscious effort not to pass them to your children. Breaking cycles isn’t easy, but possible!
Meet your new friend and author, Tori Hope-Petersen.
Few self-help books can make you feel like you’re confiding with your best friend over coffee, but Tori Hope-Petersen does just that. In her new book that feels part memoir-part self-help, Breaking the Patterns That Break You, Tori invites every mama to share in the struggles and triumphs of intentional healing. Her motto, “I Already Love You,” shines through the warmth of her smile and transparency to everything—in her speaking, writing, and advocacy. In Tori’s new book, she guides readers on a journey to process their pain with self-compassion.
How was the process of writing different from your first book?
I thought I couldn’t be more vulnerable than when I wrote my memoir, but I feel this book exposed deeper layers. After Fostered, I thought, “I could have written that differently—more gracefully, more graciously toward others.” As an author, your work stays the same even when you grow as a person and have a change of heart. We mature but your work remains. It’s terrifying to write another book in that sense. Everything we write is meant for that time. Fostered served its purpose to reach the people that it was supposed to, Breaking the Patterns That Break You will find the people that it’s meant to reach.
What inspired you to write this message?
Fostered is the story of what happened to me and this is the story of what I did to break generational cycles. I had to take responsibility to figure out the root of my pain. I needed to heal so that I could walk into what God called me to do in motherhood, vocation, and ministry.
How will moms reading your book apply the patterns you discuss in their own lives?
We are only able to pour out to the people in our lives what has been poured into us. I still had healing that needed to take place. Healing isn’t linear but an ongoing journey. I share my process openly and authentically. Not a perfectly put-together picture of healing, but a real one, hopefully relatable.
As moms, we all have thought patterns or “lies” (14 addressed in the book) driving our emotions. We don’t realize the “why” because it’s often subtle behaviors affecting our day-to-day.
The research suggests that an indicator of a happy healthy child is directly related to the mental-health of the mother. Dysfunctional thought-patterns affect the way we show up. My prayer is this book will point out harmful lies we believe so they can be broken. I want us all to be better lovers of people in or outside of our home; with our children, husbands, and neighbors.
What was the most surprising thing you learned while writing your new book?
Writing this book reminded me of the beauty found in scripture. God has something for each of us, we need to read it for ourselves. Writing this book reminded me of what God says about me and who he called me to be. I want everyone who reads Breaking the Patterns That Break You to feel inspired that way too.
Tori visited Fabled on February 5th in partnership with Isaiah117House. Visit Fabled Events page to see authors and speakers coming to Waco. Related post: How I Knew I Needed Counseling
