Life Is Hard, How Do We Get Tougher?
On the average day, most people are fighting an uphill battle. If it isn’t noticeable by their “Good,” response when you ask “How are you?” — just take some time digging and you might be surprised by what you find. Depression, anxiety, struggling marriages, unruly kids, unloving parents, disconnected relationships, finances, mass amounts of work, societal pressure, never ending to-do lists and more.
Then the New Year rolls around and everyone else has a whole bunch of newfound motivation, but it doesn’t feel that contagious. Same marriage, same hard job, same broken relationship, same stress. Some things don’t change.
We all know life is hard. But it doesn’t have to stop there. We can and we will get tougher. Here are four ways to face the hardships that come our way and come out on the other side a better, stronger you.
- Face your fears head on. It was difficult for me to suggest this and facing our struggles is about the most challenging emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual thing we wrestle with in life. You need to know the depths of your pain. You’ve have already experienced something that is affecting your decision-making. You cannot experience freedom from your fear until you grasp the ‘what,’ ‘why,’ and ‘how’ this experience affects you. For many this could be gaining understanding to why your supervisor hurts you, relating better with your kids, finances in 2019, or your husband not helping enough. Spend time discerning what is truth and what is interpretation, judgement, and opinion. Write these things out so that you can reinforce truths and discard lies. This likely requires help outside of yourself and don’t let fear keep you from asking for it.
- Quit complaining. Stop with the negativity. You are bringing the energy in the room down and it doesn’t just affect you. Have someone to talk to, but also start looking up. Channel that energy into something productive. Complaining is a byproduct of self-centeredness. First step to stop complaining is realizing that everything is not about you. It is not as bad as it seems. There is a bigger purpose at play and we must come outside of ourselves to even consider it.
- Find hope in something unshakable. Human beings are wired for hope. Don’t believe me, then answer a couple of questions: Why do you work? Why are you married? Why do you care? It is because we hope for a future that will give us and those we care about love, joy, peace, purpose, and stability. Take time to reassess what you are putting your hope or your faith in. If something does not immediately come to mind, then you have likely defaulted to something that is easily shaken.
- Find the joy in the small things.Gratitude is a necessary attitude for life on earth. What have you already been blessed with? Whom have you been blessed by? In America, most of us deal with first-world-problems. Thus, putting our troubles in perspective, we have a lot to be thankful for. Spend time communicating those things to yourself, to others, and especially to your family. Go even further by encouraging them to communicate and dwell on things that are helpful, good, and true.
