To My Son’s Future Wife

Lovely,

If you are reading this, then you are holding in your hands my Bible. When I was married to your husband’s father, I was given the gift of this Bible. It had my new name on it. We printed it this way intentionally so that, when our son was married, we would be able to pass it along to you. For more than a decade this Bible and the inscription on the front has been my continual reminder to pray for you.  As I continue to pray for you, here is my advice, woman to woman, mother to daughter-in-law.

Defender of People

My son is a fierce defender of people. I believe if you can keep this in mind you will understand him more and fight with him less. His heart is so very pure, and his motivations are rarely selfish. Remember his caring heart for you and for others. He will never hurt you on purpose, it’s just not within his character to do so.

Protect Each Other

Nonetheless you may find over the years you need to protect him, not in the same ways he will be charged with protecting you, but instead protecting him, offering discernment where his may be lacking. This lack of discernment is the thing which can allow others to take advantage of his open heart before he ever realizes it. He is a good man, and I know you’ve seen how he cares deeply for people. Help him to foster that care into ways you can serve and give together.

His Scars and Your Marriage

He carries the scars of having divorced parents, shifting between homes week after week, uprooting from his childhood school and church which were so familiar and starting all over again, once with his father and sister, once with his mom and her new family, and again when I came along. He has had both healthy and unhealthy examples of family. I believe with all my heart it will be those healthy memories which drive the way he husbands you and parents your children. We have always tried to be a very honest family and taught him and his sister to ask for what they need and to tell us what they want. We communicated (and still communicate) with radical openness. He will very likely bring that into your marriage, so be prepared.

One More Thing

Finally, a bit of advice to avoid a simple conflict, this man loves to do dishes and hates to clean toilets! We are so glad to have you as our daughter, Mrs. Millington. It is my joy to share my son and my name with you.