Go To School



It’s the witching hour of summer.  

You know, it’s those final two weeks before school goes back, and the kids are doing the craziest, most annoying things possible.  Now is when all the summer procrastination caves in around them (you).  They realize they didn’t finish the required reading.  Or the typing lessons they need to complete.  Or their feet have suddenly grown two sizes and they need shoes, not just one pair but a pair of cleats, a pair of casual shoes, and a pair of running shoes.  Oh, and their feet are suddenly an adult size so they will definitely cost more than the last pair.  And the other child’s shoes who actually do still fit are the ones she hates (but BEGGED for just a few months ago).

The house is suffering.

Their rooms are a mess.  The bathroom floor is almost never visible.  The cupboards are impossible to keep filled with enough food.  The TV remote has moments when it almost catches fire.  The floors can’t stay clean no matter how much they’re mopped.  The refrigerator is in a constant state of feeding.  The dishwasher is never actually empty.

Then there’s the double edged sword of technology.  More of it brings peace, but it also brings the zombie children with diminished brain power when you try to have a normal conversation.  It also brings the incessant begging to spend “just 99 cents” on a fantasyland game for more whatever-it-is-that-makes-zero-logical-sense.  Thanks to DVR, binge watching of Teen Titans knocks that brain power down a few more pegs.

And if I try to close a door or sit in a separate room, then suddenly it’s like I’ve become a giant magnet that they want to stand over, breathe on, or shove a screen in my face to ask if they can buy this MUST HAVE thing on Amazon.  

And then there are the questions:

“What else is there to do?”

“Can I have this?”

“Can I eat this?”

“Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom….”

“Can I make slime/ a lemonade stand/ a knife?”

The money is all gone.  (And so is the glue.)

And suddenly my wallet is being turned inside out for school supplies. Another pencil bag? What’s wrong with the four you have in your desk drawer? A four dollar notebook is of course better than the dollar one. Oh, and you need six of them? Perfect. Backpacks are a fashion statement.  Used colored pencils? “But, Mom, they’re all dull now.” One hundred dollar graphing calculator – check. Haircut – clipped.  

We’ve vacationed, we’ve bonded, we’ve seen movies and stayed up late.  We’ve swam and built forts and hung hammocks.  We’ve baked and built, shopped and schemed. And now, there is only one thing left to do…

Go to school.