My Uncomfort Zone | Friendships

Making friends doesn’t come easy for me. I could easily just slink back into my own little corner and never talk to a single person. And I might just be totally fine with that! Maybe even a little happy about it. But even though I enjoy my quiet time, we humans were created to be with others, regardless of our personality style.  

I have lived in many cities over the years which equates to many new friendships. It takes time to develop a good friendship, and for someone who loves sitting back and observing while at parties, making friends is DOWNRIGHT EXHAUSTING! Becoming a mother has given me a boldness like I have never known, so I was eager to test out my newfound personality. After living in Denver for 10 years, we moved to Waco. I decided to be proactive about making new friends.  I am not getting any younger here! The older I get, the harder it is to make friends. Or at least for me it is! So I forced myself to leap out of my comfort zone, and because of that risky move, I now have a growing group of good friends who truly care about me.  

Here is what I learned along the way:

1. Don’t be afraid to use social media. I met several of my friends this way. But not before I fully investigated them!  You have to be cautious of course. If you find someone likeminded, get to know them online and then meet up with them at a safe and crowded location.
2. You have probably heard this one before, “we should get together sometime!” Most of the moms who say this are well meaning and truly DO want to get together with you. But because our lives get crazy, we forget to do it. Days turn into months, and it never happens. The next time you hear this from a mom, respond by saying, “yes!  is there a day next week that is good for you?” I’m telling you. . . .changing my response to this has sparked several friendships.  
3. Leave your judgements at home. This one is hard for me. I want the perfect friend.  I want one who looks a certain way and parents a certain way and does everything a certain way. . .basically I just want someone like me.  But if I continue to hold up that judgmental standard, I will never approve anyone as my friend. Let go of your expectations and give them a chance.  The friends that I initially thought “no way will we be a fit. . .she is too young. . . .or she is too cool. . . ” are some of the best ones. What a surprise! Don’t judge yourself out of a friendship that hasn’t even had the chance to develop.

All you have to do is be brave once. Then you’ll get used to it. It does get easier, and taking that first step is so worth it. We mommas need friends. We need to stick together because motherhood is meant to be shared.