I’m going to go ahead and start off with the easiest way: sex. Run with that as you please, but that’s a pretty solid way to achieve your goal.
Now to more practical ways since the first one isn’t always an option because you know…KIDS ARE ALWAYS AROUND. Any mom knows that once kids enter the picture, keeping your husband as the center of your world becomes harder. When kids arrive, they are FULLY dependent on you, and sometimes that makes it hard to focus on someone less needy, like your husband (sometimes).
Below are 10 quick ways I have found that light my husband’s world up, and remind him that at the end of the day, it was me and him first, and it always will be:
- Words of Affirmation – men seem so rough and tough, but they LOVE a good “atta boy!” and coming from their wife, man, it’s gold. Just simply telling him you love him, you’re proud of him, you’re thankful for him, or anything like that will fill his tank and remind him that you see and appreciate him.
- Figure out HIS love language – what fills him up? I try to love my husband with quality time and it took about 8 years of marriage to realize it does NOT make him feel loved when I force him to sit on the couch and snuggle with me. He feels loved when I TELL him I love him and give him physical touch (even if it’s not sex.. just grab his hand, touch his leg, something to touch him). If you’ve never read ‘The 5 Love Languages,’ I highly recommend it. You will learn so much about yourself and your husband and how to love each other better.
- Do something FUN together – get a sitter or a friend (#free) to watch your kids and go have FUN doing something he loves. I once told my husband I wanted to do Crossfit for a date night and I swear it’s the most loved he’s ever felt. What does he love? Spend a couple hours doing it with him even if you hate it.
- Notes – leave a note in his truck, on the counter, in the pantry – anywhere! It’s a fun surprise that will leave him feeling loved and knowing you thought about him when he wasn’t around.
- Pray for him – he may never know your prayers, or you may tell him. Either way, pray for your husband every chance you get. The Lord can change hearts, fill hearts, and give strength that we never can.
- Do things that make him happy, even if it annoys you – ya’ll, my husband is as Type A as Type A can get. He is so particular and borderline OCD and likes things done a certain way. I on the other hand, have no structure and love chaos. I honestly don’t know how we got married or how we still are. Anyway.. when I fold clothes his way instead of mine, put dishes in the dishwasher a certain way, or make sure all the labels are facing forward, it shows him I CARE about his preferences. I know, it seems dumb. I agree. But to him, its choosing him over me or the kids.
- Greet him with a smile – one thing I learned early on in marriage, was to always greet my husband with a smile when he walks in the door from work. I’ll be honest, if I’ve had a hard day, I want him to KNOW it was hard. So the LAST thing I want to do is greet him with a smile like life is great. It’s not. IT’S A FREAKIN TRAIN WRECK. But.. when I choose a smile over “proving I have hard days too,” it reminds him that no matter what my day has looked like, I am happy to see him and glad we’re in this together.
- Serve him – I know, I know. I just lost some of you. But hear me out – marriage is about serving each other and choosing every day to put your spouse above yourself. When I choose to serve my husband, I serve our marriage as a whole. It doesn’t have to be huge, it can be small acts: You make sure his clean underwear are put away. You make sure his workout clothes are clean. You pick up his favorite drink to have with dinner. The possibilities are endless, but this again tells him you think about him all day, and not just when it’s beneficial for you or he’s around.
- Choose him when he knows you had other options – I LOVE a good girl’s night. I love basically anyone and everyone and would never spend time just my husband and I if it weren’t for me knowing that’s important to him. I’d spend time me and him.. and 20 of our closest friends. When he knows I turned down a night out to dinner or a walk with friends, he feels chosen and valued. He knows I chose him over all the other options I had. And sometimes I choose him and we have no plans. We go through our normal nightly routine, but we do it together. But again, he knows I had “better” and more fun options, but I chose him over it all. He never makes me choose, but when I do, it goes a long way.
- Sex – this is still just a really good option.
I would love to hear your other ideas on how to show your husband he is still your #1! I am by NO means an expert, and I practice these 10 suggestions WAY less than I could. But, my husband IS my #1, so I want to show him as often as I can!