I’m a Natural Hair Mom

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Being a natural hair mom means beaming with pride at all the comments you get from strangers about your child’s gorgeous mane.

It means smiling politely and rolling your eyes at comments about “crazy” and “wild” and “light socket” and “good” hair because you know the implicit bias behind those terms but understand that they don’t really mean it that way.

It means reminding yourself and everyone else that all hair is good hair.

It means researching the different hair textures and curl patterns from 1A to 4C and realizing you have like 4 different ones in different spots.

It means adding in a few (45) minutes you don’t have to a shower that may not even happen daily for co-wash, lotion-oil-cream routine and twist out.

It means feeling guilt over getting a blow out or weave for the convenience of low up-keep because you don’t want to send mixed signals about the need to have straight hair.

It means taking a breath and saying a prayer on wash day.

It means an ever-so-slight twinge of panic mixed in with the pure joy you feel when you hear it’s (another) girl.

It means sometimes arguing in the comments section on topics like discriminatory school hair dress codes. A simple argument like “rules is rules” is never as cut and dry as it seems when no one is policing the way their hair grows from their head.

It means crying real, huge tears when you watch the Oscar nominated short Hair Love. Not just because it’s so cute and has such a great message of self love and acceptance. But, also because it makes you confront your own mortality and hope you’ve instilled enough self love in your child to carry her through when you aren’t there anymore.

It means trying my best to teach her to love herself the way she is naturally and hoping she never has to know there was ever a reason not to.

1 COMMENT

  1. Hello Alex! First, I would like to thank you for the post; it was a good read. As a fellow natural hair mom, everyday is a battle, in more ways than one. I am happy that you had the courage to enlighten others on a view that can be difficult for many to understand.

    My family and I will be relocating to Waco in May for my job (I am a veterinarian with the federal government). My husband and I have two young boys – one of which will be enrolling in kindergarten this fall. He has longer hair that I typically keep braided into individuals and pulled back into a ponytail because he doesn’t like it in his face (lol). I have been stressing out about which school districts would accept him as he is, and not force me to cut his hair. I noticed the dress code in Midway ISD is really strict, and would not allow him to keep his hair this way for instance.

    Could you potentially provide me with any recommendations on which school districts are less homogeneous and more accepting of children (especially boys) with naturally long, curly hair? Any additional information or resources you feel could aid me in my search would be most appreciated. We have yet to choose a place to live because it will be based on which school we will send him to.

    Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!

    Gervais

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