My prayers are answered—my son is getting married! I started praying for my children’s future spouses thirty years ago when they were babies.
I prayed for someone to love them, respect them, and grow old with them. Finally, He answered one of my prayers by giving my son someone kind, intelligent, fun, and beautiful—inside and out.
My son is getting married!
Life is full of doors, opening and closing along the way. I’m about to walk through a new door, an aisle if you will. I’m going to be the mother of the groom.
I’ve been many things in my life, but my proudest title is mom. My second favorite title will be mother-in-law. Being a mother to my children is my biggest blessing. And like most new moms, I worried about what kind of mother I would be.
And now, I wonder about this new water I’m treading. Will I be a good mother of the groom? Will I be a good mother-in-law?
You never stop worrying and praying for your children, no matter how old they may be.
Grown don’t mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown. In my heart, it don’t mean a thing. -Toni Morrison
And as a mother, you worry (and pray) that your children will find love and that love they have will last forever. And you dream about this moment.
And their weddings.
But being the mother of the groom is different than being the mother of the bride, I imagine. I have nothing to compare it to, so I am winging it.
We liked her from the moment we met her over five years ago. It wasn’t long before we loved her and included her in dinners, family events, and vacations. She quickly became a part of our family, and I am so excited that it is about to be official.
Soon, we will have three daughters and a son.
I think I’m lucky because my future daughter-in-law has included me in much of the planning. She and my son are planning their wedding, and I feel blessed every time she keeps me in the loop.
It started last January when my son asked if I would shop for the ring with him. This simple request was one of the highlights of my parenting. First, it touched me, and I cried, and then—I screamed with excitement, “My son is getting married!”
After the proposal, they invited us to visit the venue, along with her parents. It was a precious day for me. And she asked me to tag along with them for their engagement photo session to be their dog wrangler. And of course, my grandpups made the pictures that much sweeter.
I also attended the first dress fitting. She made me feel special and part of it all with this invitation. My eyes filled up as soon as I saw her in the dress. She will make a beautiful bride, and I can’t wait to see my son’s love burst for her as she walks down the aisle.
My only advice
My single bit of advice about being the mother of the groom so far is just being there. Be there if they need you, be there if they have a question, and be there with all the love and support they need.
I learned about being a mother-in-law and mother of the groom by watching my mother with my brothers. And I learned from my mother-in-law and how she treated my sister-in-law and me. She has always treated us like her daughters, and that is my intention, as well.
My mother-in-law made me feel special from day one. And when I had my son, I realized that he would get married one day and not be my little boy any longer, and I began to pay closer attention to how I treated my mother-in-law.
The reality is that a wife is the gatekeeper of the husband and grandkids. If I want to keep my son in my life, I need to be kind, available, open-minded and loving to the one who holds his heart.
In my case, it’s easy because the one who holds my son’s heart is a sweetheart.
Being a mother of the groom is different than being the mother of the bride, but my future daughter-in-law has bridged the gap and has included me in the wedding plans, and I appreciate her so much for that thoughtfulness.
My newest title— “mother of the groom” makes me happy, but I can’t wait to replace that
title with “mother-in-law” when it’s official, in March. I imagine the day my son gets married to his bride will be one of the happiest days of my life.
My prayers are answered—my son is getting married!