It is that time of year again for making New Years Resolutions. The most popular resolution being to lose those pesky pounds that have been gained over the year. That has been my New Years resolution for many years and I never seem to achieve my goal. I find myself feeling depressed and hating myself when I cannot rid myself of the problematic pounds.

This year I am choosing to take a different route. My New Years resolution will be to love myself.

I have always struggled with my weight since childhood. I remember being teased and begging my mother to sign me up for weight loss programs, but they never seemed to help me lose the weight. It was not a lack of me trying, I just could not shed all the pounds, and have the body my friends had.

Of course after having my two kids I gained even more, and it became even harder to get the pounds off.

For many years I have hated myself and have been ashamed of being overweight. I feel like I never fit in anywhere and worry what people are thinking of me. I fall into depressions wondering why I have to be overweight and why I have to  struggle so much to lose the weight.

I may not have an everyday exercise regimen, but I do take care of two kids(one of which disabled), I keep a clean house, and I am on my feet more than I am just sitting on the couch watching TV. Yet the pounds accumulate. I eat no more than most people do, yes maybe too much fast food on occasion, but I DO NOT eat like some people think overweight people eat. For example I have NEVER eaten an entire pizza or more than one hamburger.

I have let my weight problems consume my life for TOO long! I am tired of hating myself and emotionally beating myself up for being overweight.

So this is why I am choosing to love myself instead of setting a weight loss goal. I do hope to lose weight because of health reasons, but I WILL NOT let it consume my life and drown me in sorrow. I will try not to live envious of others weight loss and instead be proud of their accomplishment. I will take on this world full force and not sit in the background because I do not feel worthy. I am going to be proud of my curves and show them to the world, and not worry what people might be thinking of me.

Who will join me in loving yourself this New Years? You have to love yourself before you try to achieve your goals of weight loss or no amount of  pounds lost will bring you happiness.

No matter what you are struggling with this New Years, know that you are worthy and God never makes mistakes.