Ode to Google

I’m scared to potty train.

There, I said it.

I, Paige, am a mother of 2-year-olds and one of my biggest fears is potty training.

Am I alone??

There are so many articles on how to do it, and I’ve read my fair share.

“How To Potty Train in 3 Days!”

“Is Your Child Afraid of The Potty? Follow These 5 Steps!” {my kids are curious, but what about mama?!}

“No-Tears Potty Training” {none? is there a time-back guarantee?}

But you know what I’ve read most frequently? “It all depends on the child, you decide what is best for your kiddo!”

No, you don’t understand, I have TWO that I need to potty train at the same time. And I’m a type A personality. And I just need a textbook on how to do it. Please.

Maybe it’s not just about potty training. This is just another life transition that seemed to come out of nowhere that brings out my fear of the unknown. I did the same obsessive googling before my first ultrasound, before labor, and AS I was breastfeeding (should it really hurt this badly? yes, they said. yes, it should.).

This all makes me sound like a nervous mom, which is funny, because I am very often laid-back and very much encourage natural consequences and independence in my sons. It’s just that when something big is happening, I panic. And as a mother who is also a college student, I get my knowledge from textbooks. I’m even currently in a Parenting course, which switches between “duh” and “huh, so maybe I’m doing that wrong”.

So, what is my go-to “how to be a mom” textbook? Google.

I wish I still had the same phone as when I gave birth. Here’s some questions you would probably see in my google search history:

• how big is an epidural needle?
• ideas for natural labor to avoid epidural
• why is my baby’s poop green?
• how to make a baby stop crying
• how to make a new mom stop crying
• when will a newborn learn to sleep AT NIGHT?
• how to encourage my toddler to speak
• how to make my toddler stop asking “what’s that?”
• red spots on baby lips
• red spots on baby butt
• how long is hand, foot, and mouth contagious?
• how to keep 2 toddlers entertained inside for 2 weeks

So, here it is. A Mother’s Ode to Google.

Oh, Google, how I love you so.

With search bar wide open, you always know.

This mama can be a nervous wreck,

but then I remember, hey, just consult the tech.

I ask you questions that you always keep secret,

and you don’t ever judge me for how weird or how frequent.

They say it takes a village; I believe that is true,

and when I think of my village, sometimes I count you.

What would I do without your quick, endless answer?

Well, that might not be bad. . .

I’d probably call mom, who wouldn’t assume “it’s cancer”.

Any other Googling mamas out there? You’re not alone. I will say this, though; you are doing GREAT, and you know more than you think 😉