When October rolls around, most people’s minds are thinking of fall weather, long sleeves, pumpkin spice lattes, football season, Halloween, and prepping for the upcoming holiday seasons. Sadly, for women who have lost babies either in-utero, at birth, or early infancy, all those fun October things can often be masked.
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Specifically, October 15 is a special day that is marked to remember, honor, mourn, and even celebrate the blessing of your baby’s life. There are mixed emotions surrounding this day, but most of the population has no awareness it even exists. In all honesty, I was one of those who didn’t know until I lost my son at 19 weeks gestation. I hope to bring encouragement to you if you have endured the heartache of losing a baby.
Many may weep this day, along with several other pivotal days in their journey and struggle to find hope, joy, or comfort during this time. In honoring your little one create the space to miss them, cry, and grieve the unknown of what their life would have been. That’s what mamas do and you should too, because it’s a healthy way to process those events. All around the world on October 15 at 7pm for all time zones, candles are lit in loving memory of all babies. This is called the ‘Wave of Light’. What a simple, yet honorable moment to have with them; to hold them close to you in your heart. I encourage you to light a candle in memory of your baby this year and in the years moving forward.
In spite of the sadness the day can bring, I’ve chosen to see the everlasting joy in October 15th, as with every day. I want to encourage you to do the same (even though that may seem unnecessary or you may be questioning “why?”). It’s good for our mama souls and moving forward. Think of something simple to cling to that may bring a tad bit of happiness. I’ve chosen to see the good of the day because I firmly believe my little boy would want me to remember he’s in a much better place. After all, how blessed are we to have carried and for some, even held those precious lives for as long as God allowed us to. That is the beauty I see in my story. I held and loved Calvin James for as long as he was with me and he will walk in spirit with our family until we see him again. Choosing to see the beauty in the midst of a tragedy is difficult and can seem almost impossible, but it’s not. I promise. Even in the smallest ways, if you choose to have joy, you will find joy!
Thinking of you mamas and your angel babies. I know they are proud to call you mama and that in itself can bring so much joy!