Mom Guilt is real. After running my kids around to swim practice, cheer, then coming back around to pick them all up 2 hours later. My 3 year old eating dinner in the car because dinner time is dinner time. No matter if you are in car pool frenzy or not. The girl has gotta eat.
Getting home, kids tubbed. I RUSH them off to bed: my patience is worn to the last thread. I was all done. I clean up the chaos I’ve created in the kitchen. The silence throughout the house is bouncing off every single wall. As I ring out the bubbles from the washcloth I feel it coming. That huge lump in your throat you only get when your momma asks you what’s wrong.
Tears pour out and I gasp with guilt. I was impatient. I didn’t listen to that special half hour before bedtime. As I turn around and slide my back down the kitchen cupboards I land on the floor. Head into my knees, I sob.
I am feeling pulled apart at all ends. My kids are getting the last of me when I should be giving them the most of me. I want to show them to work hard but my feelings are all how bad I want to give up.
I hear my oldest say “mom”. I see her standing there watching me melt on the floor. I see the sleepy eyes turn into concern and she sits next to me and I cry. The silence that was bouncing now turns into a low hum. And we just sat together.
That was the most recent mom guilt experience. I hated that she saw me cry. That she saw me “weak”.
I feel like we are “set” up for this. Mom guilt. For feeling inadequate. You scroll through instagram, Facebook and seeing the highlight reel of influencers, moms that pretend to have it all together, women that have it all together.
But what if they do have it all together? What if we are taking the wrong perspective on things. What I have learned is that I am going to celebrate my highlights on my highlight reel. I am going to genuinely give atta girls to women that throw that Pinerest party. WHY NOT! My mom guilt comes from a place that I know I could do better! Not from comparing myself to other women. Cause I know we all slip somewhere. We all have a hiccup in the land of being a mom. And that’s where we need to come in as mothers, daughters, and as women to support each other. Pick up your bffs pieces where they lack. Text them about school functions because you know she might need a reminder. She is scraping at the sides to keep her business, house, and marriage afloat. Then add on those extras. Throw her that life preserver!
We are teaching our babies that it is not normal to have emotions. That you need to be up to par every single freaking day! Who does that?? NO ONE! I wanna teach my girls that its okay to be sad, to be over it, mad, happy, excited, scared, and to know what to do with that. To not compare. To help each other. We as women are a unstoppable force. Lets rewire ourselves that yes, mom guilt is real. But to share your trials so we can get rid of guilt in general.