As I am scrolling through the toys, through the tv, through life what in the world has happened!!!
Let’s rewind. I hit this epiphany tonight watching “The Sandlot” with my kids. WE SUCK!!!! You have this group of kids everyday going outside, playing baseball, going into the local drug store to buy a baseball, climbing fences, kissing the lifeguard, getting dirty, getting in “trouble”, camp outs in the tree house, eating smores, being kids.
As I was watching this I thought to myself. If Squints were to kiss Wendy like that now a days he would be slapped with a law suit. The swimming pool wouldn’t have enough decency to throw their towels out for them. The parents would of been fined for not being there with their kids. All would be recorded and uploaded to Facebook and Youtube in a matter of seconds.
People would of complained by now the loud kids playing ball in the field out back. Why are the parents not watching the childs every move? You can’t have smores anymore because our children think they are “fat” by age 6 if not earlier. There is far too much sugar in a smore. They will get dirty.
WHY DOES EVERYTHING NEED LABELS?!
Our kids are searching for this one label to adhere to and to be honest do we even have them now? Everything in our life now has to have some explantation to it. As a 35 year old woman I do not have a label. ONE SPECIFIC LABEL? No!! But we are molding our children into thinking they need one.
Girl must play with the boy stuff because I don’t want her to think she can only be a mom.
Boy must play with girl stuff because I want them to be okay with their sexuality.
I don’t ever remember sitting at home. Summer/Saturday hit and my ass was outside. I came home when dusk was settling. I played hard. I fell out of trees, but didn’t tell my mom because I knew I would be in trouble for climbing the damn tree. I jumped on the tramp. Picked flowers out of peoples garden. Collected rocks. Built forts. Drank from the hose. Door bell ditched. ALL THE ABOVE!
Just last week some kids were door bell ditching houses in the neighborhood. My door bell ringed and I got ditched….ooooooo its on. I hid behind the side of the house just to catch them the next time and what do I see rolling up? THE POLICE!!!! Someone called the police on these kids door bell ditching! Mind you it was literally at like 6 p.m. STILL BRIGHT OUTSIDE! My neighbor came up and complained that she had been ditched a couple times and called the police to “scare” the kids. I looked at her and blankly said “What a waste of their time” These kids are just trying to have fun! Didn’t you ever do this as a kid?” Well, she doesn’t really wave to me anymore….
I totally admit that I am actually scared to send my girls out into the world. Will they be okay? Have I raised them to be humble and kind? To think of others? To succeed?
We will not know until it gets there. Until I let go of that little hand and let her figure it out.
Moving here, My oldest had the hardest time. She left her little group of friends she grew up with, she is going through puberty at the same time, moving to a state where really its just us. Coming from friends, extended family every Sunday, Cousins, Meem (my mom), we are VERY tight knit family. Then going to new school, new friends, NEW EVERYTHING. She struggled.
She met some girls that I had a instant stink face emoji on my mom instinct but my inner voice (my mom LOL) told me to let her figure it out. Let her get to know that these are NOT the kind of girls she wanted to surround herself with. IT WAS SOOOO HARD! I kept my opinions to myself…also very hard. And about 3 months later, a lot of sleepovers with my ear next to her door, she finally said in a emotional breakdown that she didn’t like how she felt with them. She didn’t like the rollercoaster of if they like her or not and she finally said goodbye to them and found some new friends! I walked out of that room sobbing with pride. It was a definite milestone for me as a mom.
I didn’t hover. I didn’t steer her. I let her go and she figured it out!
Now I know those moments of the “more” harder subjects will come into play. But I will take that win and stuff in it my pocket!
In my opinion momma, KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! If they have a question, make sure they know that door is open. Any question. I remember in high school, I asked my mom a pretty derogatory question and she just came back with the simple explanation and ended with that. No more. No less. And that stuck with me.
TALK TO YOUR BABIES! HAVE DINNER WITH YOUR BABIES! SHARE YOUR TRIALS WITH YOUR BABIES!
Honestly, because they are our future.