1. We like to talk about birth.
Non birthing people just don’t quite get it. It’s hard to discuss with people who’s jaws would drop at the detailed tangents this conversation can take. The sheer intensity of the emotions related to the process is a lot even for those who have experienced it. It’s sometimes not fun to talk about it to or around other people.
2. Diastasis recti is normal but it sounds crazy to people who have not been pregnant
Yes your abdominal can muscles split apart. It happens in anywhere from 60-100% of women by the 39th week of pregnancy depending on what research you look at. It’s a pretty cool thing our body does to accommodate a growing human. Our organs also shift around, our nipples change color and we grow and lose hair. An ab and physique obsessed trainer might just cringe to hear that. One who is a fellow mama sees your stretch marks and raises you a breastfeeding hickey. She’ll also help you test to ensure your DR has healed properly and/or walk you through the proper form and function to exercise effectively without exacerbating it or scaring you into thinking that you can’t do activities you love. She’ll empower you and help you stay safe and will definitely not look at you like you have 2 heads
3. We need to feel safe expressing the negatives of motherhood
When your kid is on your nerves or you have mom anxiety or you feel extremely touched out and your husband doesn’t quite understand why a touch on the shoulder makes you cringe, you don’t really want to say those things out loud.
4. We need to feel safe expressing the absolute amazing ness of motherhood
Yes that’s my baby. Her dad and I made her from scratch. She came out of me. Can you believe it? She’s super smart too. (Or for an adoptive mother so in awe that God placed the perfect birth mom in the right time and place to bring you an angel) I constantly find myself censoring my gushing pride around others but other ladies with kids get it and do the same. We are not comparing our kids (ok sometimes we are) but being free to share what we love about them even if we look like rambling idiots to the outside world
5. No one wants their pregnant belly touched.
It takes a lot of work to switch the mindset that pregnancy destroys the body. It’s a natural, beautiful thing but with common beauty standards it often makes us self conscious. Plus you would never ever ever touch any other person in that intimate of an area or probably at all. We need to be around other people who understand that this is a major invasion of personal space and will not attempt it because they’ve been through it
6. Mom Shame
When you’re with your kids in regular spaces you’re convinced all the people around are judging your parenting. When you’re with another mom who’s working on discipline with her kid or pretending she didn’t see them eat dirt you can relax just a tiny bit. You don’t always have to be on. We’re all in this battle together
7. We need freedom to not always be “mom” Your village is guaranteed to learn your name because they know exactly how it feels to only be referred to as so-and-so’s-mom
Alex is the owner of FIT4MOM Waco and a certified prenatal and postpartum fitness trainer. FIT4MOM creates inclusive accepting spaces for moms at every stage whether they are expecting a baby, want to exercise while they interact and bond with their babies, or are ready to get their Body Back mentally and physically through kid free HIIT training and nutrition guidance.